When I Grow Up
by rawrrkitty
Summary: Everyone has a dream when they're young. What were the dreams of some of the younger Jellicles? Very random oneshot.


**When I Grow Up…**

**A/N: This is very random. And I'm not that funny, but whatever. I just wanted to write this. Enjoy…? Or not…?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own CATS (or its characters) nor do I own any of the 'jobs' that the kittens aspire to. You'll see.**

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* * *

**It had been a year since the kittens had been born. A whole year. Jellylorum found it difficult to grasp that concept; it had gone by so quickly, yet so much had happened!

And now, it was time for the kittens' first test. It wasn't a difficult test; Bast, they were only one, some of them younger! The test consisted of a simple question. A question that many, people and Jellicles alike, have heard before.

'What do you want to be when you grow up?'

Yes, that was the question that every young Jellicle was to be asked. It was a test of imagination and of ambition. But Jellylorum herself was far too busy to go around testing the kittens, and Jennyanydots was away with Skimbleshanks. It was a conundrum, to be sure. Who could she ask? Already, she'd been rejected by many cats. She was so desperate to find someone that she was even considering The Rum Tum Tugger; yes, that despicable tom. But he was a last resort. Desperately, Jellylorum searched the Junkyard for an alternative. Anything would be better than _that_ tom.

And an alternative she did find. Sure, the saucy scarlet queen wasn't that much of an improvement on Tugger, but she was an improvement…right?

* * *

**Kitten Uno : Victoria**

"Hey, kitten," Bombalurina sighed as Victoria flounced into the den. The young white kitten gave the den a brief once-over before nodding and seating herself across from Bombalurina. The red queen sat cross-legged, a clipboard balanced on her knees. "Now, I'm sure you know why you're here." _I sure don't know why I am. Bast, why did I agree to this again?_

"You're gonna ask me an important question, Jelly says!" Victoria piped up. She narrowed her eyes at Bombalurina. "Wait, who are you? You don't have _fleas_ do you?"

Bombalurina shuddered. "I'm Bombalurina. And no, I don't have fleas." She found it stupid that she had to introduce herself to another Jellicle. Come on, the kit was one year old! She should've at least learned names by now.

"Oh, good that you don't have fleas. Did you know, all toms have fleas? They're _soooo_ gross. Just the other day, after I did my dance, Misto came up and tried to lick my cheek but I ran away cause of his tom-cooties!" She made a disgusted face, and Bombalurina simply shook her head exasperatedly.

"Anyway, on to the question." She sighed again. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

"When I grow up, I want to be a ballerina!" Victoria announced proudly. Bombalurina cocked an eyebrow.

"Is that so…?" she murmured, noting a few things down. "Alright then. Why's that?"

"Well, well!" Victoria bounced a little. "I _really_ wanna wear a tutu! A pink tutu! Mommy says it'd look good with my fur!" She puffed out her chest proudly.

"You do realize that you're a cat, right…?" Bombalurina indicated the fur, the ears, the tail.

"Yup! A Jellicle Cat!" Victoria stuck out her chest even further, and Bombalurina was tempted to shove it back.

"And you also realize, perhaps, that cats…can't wear tutus?" Bombalurina tapped the pen against the clipboard as she spoke.

"Well…so what?" Victoria shrugged. "Daddy says I can do anything if I really want to!"

"Hmm." Bombalurina noted down another few sentences on her clipboard. "Right. So basically…you're suggesting that you'd like to become a human?"

"Huh?"

"Well, humans are the only species of animal that wear tutus, I'm afraid," Bombalurina explained, trying not to sound too patronizing.

"Okay then, fine. I want to be a human when I grow up!" Victoria grinned.

Bombalurina noted down a few further things.

"Mm. So how are you going to achieve that?"

Victoria shrugged. "I dunno. How? How do you be a human?"

"Let me think…" Bombalurina chewed on the end of her pen. "Well, all humans are evil. So you'd have to be evil."

"Okay!"

"And humans…are generally bad-tempered and mean."

"Okay!"

"And they're pretty darn ugly too-I mean, they have no fur!" Bombalurina was getting worked up the thought of it.

"Ugly…?" Victoria hesitated for a moment, but then she hardened her resolve. She _would_ become a tutu-wearing ballerina. "Alright…thank you, Bombadulira!" Curtseying, she rushed from the den.

"Bombadulira?" Bombalurina mumbled.

* * *

**Kitten Dos : Electra**

"Next!" Bombalurina called, and Electra stumbled in. She was a plain little thing, if Bombalurina was going to be honest. It would be interesting to see what her aspirations were…well, as interesting as kitten-counseling could get, anyway.

"Hello, Bombadulira," Electra greeted.

"It's Bombalurina," she corrected quickly. Bast, Victoria wasn't spreading the mispronunciation around, was she? "And hello, Electra. I have a question for you today. What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Electra took a long time to respond. She ahh'd and umm'd, and all the while, Bombalurina grew more impatient. Finally, the kitten responded.

"A giraffe," she decided. "Or maybe a flamingo."

Bombalurina almost dropped her clipboard. "A giraffe or a flamingo?" she echoed.

"Yeah!...I think."

Raising her eyebrows, Bombalurina noted it down beside Electra's name. "And why's that?"

"Oh, you know…it'd be cool, right?" Electra flushed slightly. "I've always wanted to stand out," she added shyly.

"You want to be a giraffe or a flamingo…so you can stand out?" Bombalurina was still utterly bewildered. She'd never been this ridiculous when she was a kitten, right?

"Yeah! You gotta figure, a giraffe will always stand out cause of its neck…and a flamingo's pink, right? If I was one of them, I'd stand out from everyone else!" Electra was growing continually more enthusiastic. "Or…I know! I could be a giringo! Or a…flamaffe!"

"…A sorry, what?"

"A mix between the two! I've got it! Oh! I'm going to be a flagiringomaffe! Thank you for your help, Bombarulira!" Clapping her paws together, she raced from the den.

"…Bombarulira…?"

* * *

**Kitten Tres : Mistoffelees**

"Hello, Bombarulira." Bombalurina looked up as a tuxedoed tom stepped in, smiling brightly at her.

"Bombalurina," she corrected, rolling her eyes. "Hello, Mistoffelees."

"When I grow up…" His eyes shone. Apparently, the other kittens had spread the word on the 'question'.

"Woah woah woah. First, I don't want to hear about any _human_ jobs. Second, you're not to talk about random animals. Alright?" Bombalurina was quickly growing fed up of the kittens.

"I want to be a magician!" Mistoffelees beamed. "Cool, right?"

Bombalurina snorted. "Ridiculous. As if a cat could become a magician!"

Mistoffelees looked crushed. "But…I always dream of it! And they called me Magical Mister Mistoffelees, and I could shoot lightning from my paws!"

"Sorry buddy, but cats can't be magicians." On her clipboard, Bombalurina scrawled, '_Has no grip on reality.'_ "Rethink it, 'kay?"

Mistoffelees mumbled something incoherent and left the den dejectedly. "You'll see, Bonbahudina."

"…Bonbahudina? Bast, my life grows worse by the minute."

* * *

**Kitten Cuatro : Jemima**

"Next, next, hurry up already." Bombalurina was desperate to get her job over and done with. How many kittens did the tribe need anyway? Couldn't they just chuck a few of the useless ones out? Like that Mistoffelees…a magician! It made Bombalurina want to giggle. How ridiculous. He'd never become a magician. It was more likely that Electra would grow up to be a flagiringomaffe.

"Bonbahudina!" Jemima crashed into the den, wearing her sweetest smile. Bombalurina prayed to the Everlasting Cat that this kit had more common sense than the rest.

"Hi, Jemima. So, what do you want to be when you grow up?"

Jemima's eyes glazed over. "The moon," she replied dreamily. "It's _soooo_ beautiful…it lights up the night sky with all the stars, and it watches me, and I love it so. And I sing to it because it's so lovely and it cares about-"

"Okay, okay." Bombalurina held up your paws. "I understand." _No I don't._ Beside Jemima's name, she noted down, '_The Moon'_. "Jemima, you do realize, however, that the moon is just like a huge rock in the sky?"

"It glows." Jemima defended the moon stubbornly.

"It's reflecting the light of the sun." _Maybe those lessons from Jenny and Jelly did come to some small use after all. _Bombalurina smirked. "Also, it's not really among the stars. The moon is very lonely."

"It is?" Jemima whispered in a small voice.

"Yes. And you're telling me you want to be the moon…so you want to be a lonely rock out in space?"

"I guess. A glowing rock." Jemima grinned toothily. "It glows!" And with that, she was gone. "Thank you, Bobbajubina."

"What in the name of Bast?" Bombalurina spluttered. "Bobbaju-_what?_"

* * *

**Kitten Cinco : Pouncival**

"Hey, Bobbajubina!" Pouncival sauntered into the den.

"It's Bombalurina," she corrected angrily, tossing her head. How many more kittens to go again? "Just tell me what you want to be when you grow up. Make it fast."

"When I grow up, I want to be…" He smiled slyly. "A transformer!"

"I'm sorry, what was that?"

"A transformer! You saw the movie, right?" He waggled his eyebrows.

"Yeah, I did, actually." Bombalurina sighed deeply. This kitten was just as bad as the others. Of course, she'd come to expect it. "I just wasn't sure if I heard you right."

"T-R-A-N-S-F-O-R-M-E-R," Pouncival stated, one letter at a time. _Great Bast, he even learnt how to spell it. Kittens…such idiots._

"And…why exactly do you want to be a transformer?" Bombalurina questioned warily.

"Because I would _rule_ at tag! I could just turn into a car and drive away! Tumble would _never_ outrun me! And I would be an _awesome_ fighter! I'd be just as good as Munkustrap!" His brow crinkled. "Do you think that Munkustrap is a transformer?"

Bombalurina chose to ignore the last question. "I can see that you're very passionate about your dream, but did you ever consider the, ah, dangers it could bring upon the Jellicles?"

"Huh?"

"For instance, if you drove around as a car, cats would be in severe danger of being run over. Imagine that!" Bombalurina clicked her pen. _Click, click, click, click._

"Oh…well, Tumble sorta deserves a hit to the head anyway," Pouncival grinned, looking totally unconcerned. "Thanks, though, Bongaduwita."

_How does he go from Bombalurina to Bongaduwita?_ She screamed inwardly.

* * *

**Kitten Siete : Tumblebrutus**

"Um…is this where I can find Bongaduwita?" Tumblebrutus poked his head in, looking a little bit nervous.

"No, but you can find Bombalurina in here. Hurry up, sit down. What do you want to be when you grow up?" Bombalurina examined the clipboard. Most of it had been filled in. Comments such as, '_No common sense' _and _'Has a lot of…imagination'_ were scrawled everywhere in her untidy handwriting. Only two names left to fill out.

"When I grow up…I want to be a bird," Tumblebrutus stated, if a little indecisively. Bombalurina rolled her eyes.

"Just great. Why…?"

"I wanna fly!" Tumblebrutus lifted his arms to shoulder height and spread them as if they were wings. "Flying looks _so_ cool. And then Pounce wouldn't be able to whack me all the time!" He _hmph_ed indignantly.

"Right. And you do realize the eventual consequence of becoming a bird…?"

"…huh?"

"You get eaten. By a cat. Like me. Or Pouncival." Bombalurina could hardly prevent herself from screaming into his face.

"I don't wanna get eaten by Pounce," Tumblebrutus mumbled, casting his eyes downwards.

"So it doesn't matter if anyone else eats you?" Bombalurina arched an eyebrow.

"Well, I wouldn't mind if it was Jemima. She's awfully pretty, isn't she?" Tumblebrutus had a foolish grin on his face.

"Right, right. Thanks for that great insight, Tumblebrutus. OUT!" The red queen herded the confused kitten out of the den.

"Bye, Botaluqida!" he called as he shuffled away, still looking like a lovesick idiot.

"Bombalurina, Bombalurina."

* * *

"It's over!" Bombalurina almost danced for joy. She'd truly had enough of the idiots. Maybe she'd like them later, when they'd grown up a little. Maybe. A small maybe.

"Are you done, Bombalurina? What's the report?" Jellylorum entered the den, looking curious. Bombalurina thrust the clipboard into the older queen's arms.

"The info's all in there. Now where's my pay?" Bombalurina held out a paw expectantly. _I really need a drink…or more specifically, a drink with Tugger. _She was already coming up with ways to get the tom to spend the night with her.

"What pay?" Jellylorum raised her eyebrows doubtfully. Bombalurina literally screamed, but Jellylorum acted as if she hadn't. "Well, anyway, what's your opinion on the little mites?"

"They're all idiots," Bombalurina fumed. "The lot of them!...well, except for Etcetera. I gotta admit, that kit's a genius."

"Um…Etcetera?" Jellylorum scanned the list, bewildered. Her eyes fell upon the last name on the list.

* * *

**Kitten Ocho : Etcetera**

"'Lo, Botaluqida! That's an awfully strange name!"

Bombalurina quirked an eyebrow at the overly cheerful tabby that had just entered the den. This was the last kitten, thank the Everlasting Cat. "It's Bombalurina. So, what do you want to be when you grow up?"

Etcetera's smile widened until she was positively beaming at the red queen. "When I grow up, I want to be Tugger!"

**Terminan.**

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* * *

****A/N: Did I not say it would be random? Review, if you want. **

**And I know I'm not that funny. XD**

**Oh, yeah, and I take Spanish at school. I'm cool, huh?**


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